OffStar
by TinkerLJ
Summary: Real life collides with the Joe-verse and Lady Jaye's voice is stolen. Story inspired by Mary McDonald-Lewis, the voice actress for Sunbow's Lady Jaye. One shot.


_Real-life collides with imagination, and the result is—interesting. (I really can't believe no one has written this before!)_

_A short, one-piece._

* * *

Two men, identical but for the prominent scar one had along his cheek, stood before a set of closed double doors. They both knew the announcement of their arrival would not take long. The men wore their blue and red battle uniforms, each the exact mirror image of the other. The uniforms fit the men well, enhancing rather than hiding their fit, muscular bodies. They did not speak, but chose instead to remain silent. Speaking was not a necessity. They were already well aware of one another's thoughts, knowing them so completely that not even they knew where one's own thoughts began and the other's ended. And at they present moment, the thoughts tumbling around in both their minds were as indistinguishable as the two men who had them: _Why had Cobra Commander summoned them?_

The door opened at last. A blue uniformed soldier stood just inside. "The Commander says you may enter."

The man with the scar turned toward the other and smiled. "Shall we, brother?"

"Of course, brother."

The two men stepped into the room together. They approached the throne confidently, walking side by side toward the elaborate mass of twisted golden snakes with jeweled eyes—and the blue hooded man sitting there.

"Tomax, Zamot. I see you have received my message." The Commander greeted them as they came near.

"Yes, Cobra Commander," they said in unison, offering perfect bows.

"You said it was important?" Xamot asked as he stood erect.

The Commander's brown eyes studied the two of them, revealing nothing. "Yesss," he let out a breath like a hiss. "It is. You must have realized, as of late, that Cobra's—slipping. Our most recent endeavors have been deplorable, to say the least. Our troops have been slow, ineffective and overrun. Too many mistakes are being made during our times of engagement." He paused and a slow smile under the hood pulled at the edges. "But I have found the solution."

"Oh? And what is that, sir?" Tomax and Zamot asked warily.

"Voice command on all our Cobra vehicles." The Commander's voice began to rise in his excitement. "Think about it. We're already upgrading our computers. Why not add voice command while we are at it? AI on our vehicles will speed up troop reaction time, reduce error, increase precision—It's the perfect solution to our problems."

"It's true we have not been performing to our best ability..." Tomax began, thinking out loud. "But AI? Isn't that a bit extreme, Commander? And expensive?"

"But why not, brother?" Xamot spoke up suddenly. "It may be just what Cobra needs. And prove cost-effective in the long run—"

"Cost-effective?" Tomax mused. "How so?"

"With better soldier performance, fewer bodies will be needed on the payroll to get the same work done. With greater efficiency, the cost of consumables will be reduced. Less amunition will be wasted."

Tomax nodded slowly. "And I suppose that will lead to more solidarity among the troops—"

"Of course." Xamot smiled. "And greater teamwork."

"Better precision."

"More accuracy."

They continued, their ideas now being completed by the other. Any bystander would have had a hard time following-even Cobra Commander, who was by now, quite used to their unique abilities. The two continued, showing no signs of slowing, and the Commander began to grumble under his breath. His fingers, gripping the armrest of his throne, grew whiter and whiter. Finally, he could stand it no longer. "So, you'll do it?" he hissed.

The twins fell silent and then, as one, nodded.

"We think it a worthy idea, Commander," Tomax answered.

"We will do it," they chimed together.

Cobra Commander relaxed and released his grip. He smiled beneath his hood. "I knew the two of you, more than any of the others, would see the value in this plan."

"We are most honored, Cobra Commander—"

"—that you would put such faith in us."

"As well you should be," he said. "So, how soon before you want me to start making recordings?"

"Recordings?"

"What recordings?"

"For the AI voice, of course."

"Ahh, of course," they hedged. "We'll have to get back to you on that, Commander."

"—Later."

"—Much, much later."

"Very well." The Commander sighed, obviously disappointed. "Begin your work at once but keep me updated on your progress."

"Yes, sir."

"With your leave, Commander." They bowed low.

"You have my permission." Then he shrieked loudly. "Cobra!"

The Twins winced and then responded with less enthusiasm. "Cobra!" Turning their backs on the Commander, they left the room. As soon as they were out of earshot, they began whispering to one another.

"Anything but _that._"

"Yes, anything." Tomax's face still held a tinge of green.

"What we really need, brother, is a voice that we would actually _like_ listening to," Xamot said thoughtfully.

"A voice that _inspires_ the troops," Tomax added.

"A woman's voice." A gleam appeared in Xamot's eye.

Tomax nodded, agreeing. A similar gleam appeared in his own eye. "Oh yes, a woman's voice."

They halted in the middle of the hallway, turning to face one another. "But who?" They asked at the same time.

"Certainly, not the Baroness?"

"No indeed." Xamot gave a small shudder. "That would be almost as bad as the Commander. Zaranna?"

"Worse than the Baroness. Definitely not."

"Agreed."

"Hmm… It should be a strong voice, passionate, a pleasure to listen to—warm."

A wicked smile came over Tomax. "I think I know _just_ the voice, brother."

Xamot looked at his brother and began chuckling. "You _are_ the clever one, brother. Why did I not think of it before. _Her _voice would be perfect." His eyes darkened as desire momentarily filled him. He shook his head to clear it. "But how to pull it off?"

"How indeed, brother?"

"Maybe if we elicit—"

"—the help of—"

"—Storm Shadow?"

Their smiles, once again, mirrored each another.

"Ah, yes, Storm Shadow. He _could_ pull it off."

"Of course he could."

"With the right plan."

"Which is why, dear brother, _we_ are in charge."

Laughing softly, they put their heads together and began to devise their plan.

* * *

Alarms sounded. Emergency lights flashed.

"No!" Cobra Comander screeched. "The Joes have located the base! Air and ground troops to defense positions. Activate AI on all vehicles immediately."

"But Commander—" Tomax protested.

"We haven't been able to test it, yet." Xamot finished.

"Nonsense. We'll just test it in action," the Commander said eagerly. He pushed a red button and spoke into his personal com. "Baroness, Major Bludd, Wild Weasel—You're in charge of the troops."

"Yes Commander. At once."

"All Cobra troops," A voiced blared. "This is Major Bludd. To your vehicles. The Joes are attacking. Engage new voice command by order of Cobra Commander. Cobra!"

"Cobra!" The troops scattered, hurrying to their vehicles. They slid into the seats and pressed the button on the small screens newly mounted to their dashboards. They waited as the light switched from blinking red to solid green.

"Engine on!" they commanded.

Vehicles all around roared to life. The drivers quickly put their vehicles into drive. Then, gripping the steering, they stepped on the accelerator. Tires squealed. Leaving clouds of thick black smoke behind them, they sped out of the garages and into the open air.

"Cobra!" they shouted.

"The Joes are less than 200 meters ahead. Prepare to engage!" Bludd screamed into the com.

"Weapons on. Lock on target," drivers began to shout.

"Cobra missiles locked and ready," a woman's voice answered each one.

The troopers sighed with pleasure. "Now that's more like it," they grinned, tightening their seatbelts. They leaned back. "Fire machine guns!"

Above them, Wild Weasel and the Baroness led the air support.

"Fire!"

A barrage of missiles flew toward the incoming Joes.

"Cobra!"

"What?" Suddenly a shriek was heard over the airwaves, coming from the pilot of the lead Rattler. The woman's thickly-accented voice exploded in rage. "_Her?_ I won't stand for it! I refuse!""

"Target locked. Missiles firing," the feminine computer voice spoke. A moment later it spoke again. "Target destroyed."

Already, thick black smoke was pouring out from another unlucky Joe Skystriker. Within moments, it was plummeting toward the earth. The pilot ejected, just in time, and floated safely to the ground.

"Where's that manual override?" the Baroness screeched, pushing buttons. "It must be here, somewhere!"

"Go get 'em! That's it!" Wild Weasel shouted gleefully. "Cobra!"

Cobra Commander scouted the battle in his F.A.N.G., listening and watching from a safe distance. "That computer voice—" he hissed. "It's not mine." He listened some more and then began to smile beneath his hood. "But it's nice—soothing. And yet, so much passion and energy at the same time." He drummed his fingers along the controls. "It seems familiar, though. I wonder where I heard it before?" he mused.

"We're winning, Commander!" Major Bludd shouted. "The Joes are retreating!"

The Commander watched as the Joes turned around and began heading back in the direction they had come. Underneath his battle helmet, he smiled a very satisfied smile. "Oh well. I guess it doesn't matter, after all."

* * *

Storm Shadow darted into the cover of the trees with the Joes in hot pursuit. Suddenly, Snake Eyes pulled up. He held up a hand and the Joes behind him stumbled to a halt.

"Snake Eyes? What is it?"

He began signing. "_We're too late. He's gone._" He pointed. A Cobra C.L.A.W. was seen briefly, gliding between the trees before it was swallowed, again, by the night.

"Well, good riddance." Scarlett scowled, lowering her crossbow. "I swear I'll never trust that man again."

"_He is my brother._" Snake Eyes signed slowly. "_I will do what I must—when I must._"

Lady Jaye ran up beside them. "Where?" she panted. Her breaths made white puffs of smoke in the cold air. "Which way?" She held a javelin ready in her hand.

"Let it go, Lady Jaye." Flint touched her arm. "He's already gone."

"But—my voice—" She peered into the empty darkness. "All those recordings." A shiver travelled up her spine.

Snake Eyes stepped directly in front of her, his eyes meeting hers. His shoulders were slumped. "_It's my fault he escaped."_ His fingers flashed. _"I'm sorry."_

Her anger rose. "_You_ told me it was ok. _You_ said my voice would only be used to practice listening, to compare the carrying distances of male and female voices. _You_ said to trust him!"

_"I know. I'm sorry."_

"I trusted _you_." Her voice was edged with hurt.

_"Then I will get it back." _He signed. _"Now."_

"No, Snakes," Flint said firmly. "Storm Shadow didn't get away with anything that might jeopardize Joe security." He turned to Lady Jaye and placed a hand tight on her shoulder. "I realize it was _your_ voice, but it _was _just a voice. What harm could it possibly do?" Flint asked.

Lady Jaye swept her gaze from Snake Eyes back to Flint and then sighed heavily. "Not much, I suppose."

She shivered slightly and Flint wrapped his arm around her. "Come on, let's get you back inside. It's too cold to be standing out here," he said gently.

Rubbing the goosebumps forming on her arms, she nodded. "All right."

* * *

_Story Note: Mary McDonald, who voiced Lady Jaye in the Sunbow GI Joe series, was also the voice of OnStar for General Motors. This trivia fact is the inspiration behind this story idea._

* * *

_Author's post note: In this story, I am experimenting with sequence, the ordering of events in my story. This is not written chronologically like most of my earlier stories, but with the time lines a little mixed up. _

_Could you let me know what you think?: In other words, does the story work? Are you able to follow along/or are you confused? Do you have any suggestions that might help me do better? (All authors, I suppose, work continually to improve their writing. I am no different. )_

_Any and all comments are much appreciated. Thanks._


End file.
